💬 “My phone isn’t working; I can hardly hear you. Can you send me another?” I remember asking my mom during a conversation while I was away at college. When the new phone arrived, I thought “sh*t, this phone doesn’t work either.” I’d already been through it all I thought, having lost my brother, endured my parents’ divorce and more. Now at 20, I was being diagnosed with a bilateral, progressive hearing loss for which there was no ‘cure.’ Life seemed cruel and unfair. And it can be. But it goes on. We persevere.
I didn’t immediately bounce back. Having a rare autoimmune hearing loss felt daunting. I was incredibly blessed to meet Dr. John Roland and Dr. Bill Shapiro, who would slowly begin to change my life. Over 20 long years, they put up with me as my hearing loss progressed, trying to slow it down, save it, help me to adjust emotionally and physically, recommending the best hearing aids as I needed to upgrade and help me come to terms with what now seem like silly things, like accepting going to my first Phonak behind-the-ear aid after years of resisting. Dr. Roland’s words always echoed in my head…”you will never live in a silent world.”
Going with AB was a no-brainer for me. At NYU, they don’t influence you, they just give you the facts. And the fact was I wore Phonak successfully for years meant that AB made total sense for me since I would, for the immediate future anyway, be bimodal. Plus, all research indicated that the sound quality was top-notch. The blogs I read put me more at ease. A few weeks after activation, I recall thinking “what did I do?” I had 34% comprehension aided in my left ear (obviously awful), but with my right aided, I managed to “get by.” This experience wasn’t like the Facebook video! No miracle happened when they turned it on. I didn’t walk away in happy tears that day. This sounded more like a robot language…this would take patience and work. But I knew it was successful, because for the first time in 10+ years I could hear the birds. I hadn’t realized I stopped hearing them! The dishwasher and microwave yes. The birds? I cried.
3-6 grueling months later I was scoring 98% comprehension on my testing. My goal of achieving 100% on my comprehension didn’t come till month 6 but I finally did it...once! It felt just like college again.
For 20 years I never wanted to identify as hearing impaired. I wanted to be “normal” and to be treated as such. Being implanted has taught me that I’m not normal, I’m special. I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor. I’ve been given a gift that I can share to help so many that face similar challenges and are feeling scared or apprehensive about being implanted. I’ve been hearing-impaired longer than I’ve been a mother, wife, colleague. Only a daughter trumps it. Like most of my accomplishments in life, I never could’ve gotten through this one alone. I’m so grateful to AB and my NYU team for their ongoing support and for giving me the tools to empower me to change my life.
Advanced Bionics
20 September 2022